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Not All Friendships Are Meant to Last — And That’s Okay

Have you ever noticed that you are losing interest in someone you were once inseparable from? Is it not that strange? You may have late-night conversations and inside jokes one day, but then you hardly text at all. It may seem as though you have failed to maintain the connection or that something is wrong. The fact is, though, that not all friendships are destined to last. And that doesn’t change the significance or integrity of your relationship.

It still hurts. The loss of a friend causes a unique kind of grief. You relive exchanges, wonder what went wrong, and perhaps even place the blame on yourself. It can seem like silence speaks louder than any disagreement. The fact that “true friends last a lifetime” is something we are taught, but that is not always the case in real life, which makes it difficult. Humans develop. Things change. In addition, there are instances when we simply outgrow one another without any drama.

So, how do you handle that pain? You agree to it. You cherish what the friendship offered you during that time. Perhaps it gave you joy when you needed it most, perhaps it taught you how to listen better or be more open. Erasing the past is not the same as letting go. It simply entails creating room for the person you are becoming and the new relationships that will be waiting for you there.

When Growing Apart Is Just Growth

It is funny how friendship may seem so solid at the time, as if you will always be messaging memes and laughing over coffee. However, life happens. You move places, change jobs, fall in love, and establish new routines. Someone who used to be aware of every idea you had suddenly fades into the background of your feed. It feels personal, but it is rarely that way. People change, and relationships that used to function so well can occasionally no longer match who we are becoming.

This is supported by science. According to social research, we typically replace 50% of our close friends every seven years. When I initially saw that statistic, it got to me — half! It also made sense, though. We have a limited amount of emotional capacity. We are designed to form close bonds with a select group of people rather than a constantly growing circle. Therefore, it is okay if certain connections naturally end; it merely indicates that you are a human.​

Furthermore, according to previous research, adults usually only have three to five intimate friendships at any given moment. Consider this: just a small percentage of the individuals we encounter remain in our lives in a significant sense. Even those connections change based on the time of year. Perhaps your priorities have changed, or you have been busier with a new relationship. It simply indicates that life is urging you to realign with your direction, not that you do not care.

What if we let go of some friendships with grace rather than clinging to them as though they were meant to stay forever? Not all friendships are intended to last a lifetime, but it doesn’t affect their worth. Some friends are destined to accompany us through particular stages, impart knowledge, or provide us with happiness during our darkest moments. And it is acceptable to move on — with love, not guilt — after those chapters end.

Letting Go, With Love and Intention

The firm reality is that not all friendships are meant to last a lifetime, which is okay. How we honour them as they evolve or come to an end is what counts. Letting go means accepting the part that person played in your life and creating room for what comes next, not forgetting or failing. Be gentle with yourself if you are currently negotiating a change in friendship. It is a very human situation. Additionally, BetterHelp provides access to certified therapists who can assist you in processing those emotions without passing judgment if you require a little more assistance. Also, check out this research that could help. Both you and your relationships are free to change. Allow them.

MIKEOWILLS

Hi, I am Okumu Mike Wills—a passionate Writer, Blogger & Virtual Assistant.